Alena Moon

I've been thinking about happiness for quite a bit as there are times when I'm really unhappy. People try hard to be happy. They buy books about happiness, or buy things that they want or do things that they like and when something they don't want happens they think they are unhappy. But why are there so many people who thinks they are unhappy and try hard to achieve that "happiness"? and what exactly is "happiness"?

In the modern society it's seen as a joyful feeling and it's also seen as something that people SHOULD be feeling.

Happiness does not exist, well at least it's not something permanent. There are times you feel happy but there are also times when you feel miserable. Happiness is a moment of feeling and it cannot last forever. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, miserable and all the other negative feelings. So it's not quite right to reach that happiness all the time because it does not exist.

There are so many books about happiness, which teaches you how to be happy. It makes people feel like there is a way to be happy for the rest of their life or at least for a long term. But that's not true. I used to think human's natural state is being happy and because I can't be happy all the time, it made me feel like there was something wrong with my life and felt like it was not good enough.

You lose moments when you think you are unhappy. See every moment as how it is instead of wasting your moment thinking your life is not good enough.

When something bad happens, you think you are unhappy and your life is unhappy and your thought carries on. But instead, see it as an event. So you can say "I'm disappointed because of that" and move on with your life rather than identifying it as unhappy moment. Same goes for good events. Instead of saying I'm happy and trying hard to make that happiness last forever, you can say "I am glad this happened or I'm proud of myself" etc and move on.

So whether you are happy or not, it's ok. But try not to chase the illusion of happiness, rather see every moment as how it is. 

Theres a saying 'don't take things for granted' well today I want to say 'don't take yourself for granted'. We try to appreciated things like our family, friends and moments we are experiencing so on and on. But have we ever thought about appreciating ourselves? 

Up until now I always took myself for granted. Whenever I make dinner for myself, when I manage to wake up early to do work I never thought much about them but instead I thought it's something what i'm 'suppose' to do and told myself it's nothing special. 

Some people say you will never be able to escape from yourself so that is why you need to learn to enjoy your own company. I'm not saying it's wrong I do agree but the truth is "you" right now won't last forever. You change over time. Your passion or motivation might burn off, your health might get bad, you will get old and you will lose your youth and you will die eventually. I'm not trying to make you feel depressed but that could be the case. 

So the point is ourselves won't last forever. So why take ourselves for granted? We should appreciate ourselves for coming this far in life and praise ourselves for all the good things we do or achievements we make no matter how small they are. From now on start appreciating yourself for the things you do. Praise yourself for doing things like finishing a novel, cleaning your room or walking your dog, whatever it is you do.

So right now really be thankful for yourself and for the things you did and give yourself a big hug! 

Alena

There are so many days when I feel lazy. I know in my head I need to be productive and get my designs done but in the end I get nothing done. It makes me feel bad about myself, unmotivated and guilty. I tried using a daily to do list note pad, went for a walk to get back my motivation, clean my room to have a new "fresh" environment setup. Typical right? While sometimes they work, none of them really worked effectively. 

One day I realized I'm just burning myself out from stressing about being unproductive and never giving my mind a moment of rest. So basically before I even start anything I was already exhausted. I'm the kind of a person who need my whole week's schedule planned because I don't like confusion and plans getting ruined. While they do work time to time, it stresses me out too much. Planning everything before hand never gave me any freedom to do anything spontaneously and made me feel bad about myself when I don't get things done. You got to have a calm, relaxed and fresh mind to get anything done properly and effectively and filling my head up with stressful thoughts was not one of them.

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”
— Bruce Lee

So how do I do I get my things done now?? 

I know it may sound ironic but I just let myself be lazy without feeling guilty. Feeling lazy and unmotivated might be a sign that you are burned out. So having a rest might be the perfect thing that you need right now. We live life so fast and we fill it up with busy schedules never allowing ourselves to be lazy. 

So even if it's just for a day, don't plan anything for that day. How amazing would it feel knowing you have no plans for that day. You can sleep in an extra 2 hours or put on a nice music and read some books. Don't feel guilty about it. It's just for a day. Plus, it's the calm and relaxing moments where inspirational ideas pop up in your head. My creative juices starts to flow when I'm doing random things. It's never the moment when I force myself to come up with something. Ideas pop up in the moments like when I'm doing my dishes, when I'm playing with my puppy or when I'm washing my face. 

I noticed, whenever I stress out and worry about things, I get nothing done but it only adds more stress and bitterness towards myself. When I fully let go of the controlling and the guilt, I get things done without even knowing. Ideas pop up unexpectedly then I get motivated to do something which result in me actually doing something. Because I have no more stress about getting things done, for some reason I end up enjoy doing my work!

So why not just be lazy and accept the fact that we need a rest? Maybe there are some people who really can't pull off any time for themselves. If that is the case, take a 10 min break and just do nothing. Relax and let your body and mind recharge its energy again. 

Don't feel guilty, just be lazy and have some good rest and maybe in this way you might be able to get some work done!

When you are going through life day after day, there comes some days when you feel down and sad. Sometimes it leads up to feeling bad about yourself. We all go through those days but I want to talk about how to go through those days easier by having self compassion.

It is difficult to have self compassion especially when you are feeling bad about yourself or having a bad day in general. So I want to share what I do when I'm not having my best day.

Tonight, try to make yourself feel like you are the most amazing person in the world. That means treating yourself like the best person in the world. Dress yourself nicely, put on some nice makeup. It's okay if you are alone at home, you are not dressing up to show anyone but it's just to treat yourself feel good.

Pour some wine and have a best quality steak for dinner. While at it, act like you are the most precious person in the world. After having dinner, spend the rest of the night doing something you like. That could be finishing the book you were too busy to read, taking a nice long bath or having a comedy movie marathon. Whatever it is just do something that makes you happy because you deserve it!

It might seem a little awkward especially the part where you act like you are the most precious person in the world. But you really deserve it from coming this far in your life! and if we don't respect ourselves who else would?

I read this method from online some while ago and it's something everyone should try.
You can do this every once in a month or make it like a sunday night thing or whatever suits you best.

It will make you feel better about yourself and improve your day :)